What I've discovered on this mission

March 7, 2018

This one is from Gentz! As I was preparing to go on a street display with the young missionaries (not my favorite thing to do), I said to Jeri and to myself: You know why I came on this mission as hard as it was to leave our comfortable home, our dear friends and our family who we love so much? It is because I can't stand to see people suffer. I want them to have the same peace and joy that I have because of my love for Jesus Christ. I want them to have someone to turn to when loved ones die and they cry out of grief, when they feel alone, when bad things happen as they do often through no fault of their own.

Here are a few discoveries that I have made over the last 14 months. I have discovered that I worry way too much but I'm not willing to give up my cautious approach to life completely. I just know that too much worry is totally unnecessary and takes way too much energy. I will pray that things will go well with any given endeavor and accept what comes my way. I think I can honestly say that most of my worries have not been fulfilled  for which I am very grateful. Faith not fear.

I have learned that Jeri and I can live physically very close and spend most of our time together and be happy .We depend on and support each other . There is a wonderful balance. I am amazed at how well we get along actually. We aren't perfect and we don't have a perfect marriage but we do have a good one that we have worked on for a few years. I can't explain love or define it simply but I can simply say I love her. Marriage is for time and eternity.

I was truly scared to come on a mission because I thought It would be a young man mission again.I am not a young man and God knows this of course. He is not asking me to do young man things again.That part of my life is over. I do 60 year old things now.That is the way it was always meant to be.

There were talks written to that effect several years ago. God knows I am a different person now with different abilities than I had 40 years ago.Why would He want me to go back and do the same things I did as a young man? As I change so do my responsibilities.

Speaking of change I have had to accept certain physical limitations I didn't think would be until later in life . I'm having a shoulder issue they say are related to age and an old injury from lifting too many weights. I  know I can't keep doing to my body what I have been without damaging it. I have learned finally that there are very adequate and satisfying alternatives which I am currently pursuing(i.e. yoga, stretching) . Change is okay and usually overdue.

My greatest challenge here has been missing our family and home.This is difficult for me. At the same time though I am having probably the greatest ,most satisfying time of my life. The balance is sufficient that when my heart carries me home I can look around and be somehow amazed at the wonder of it all and everything is okay. I do not like being away from kids or home just like some mornings I don't feel like working out but I never regret it after I go ahead with it. Home sick is okay. Doing hard things is okay.  In the end everything will be okay because that's the plan.

Young people have a lot of knowledge and wisdom . I am amazed at what comes out of the mouths of the young Sisters and Elders. I am not surprised however when they sometime show a certain lack of maturity because they are young and have the right to be immature .Sometimes I feel I have something to offer them in terms of wisdom but most of the time the best thing I offer them is love. Young people need a little advice and a lot of love.

I love the Germans and the German way of life even more than 40 years ago. There is so much positive and beautiful here. I appreciate this enhanced vision of this people and land. Interestingly I have come to love my country even more as a result. I am very happy to be an American. The Germans feel so bad about their past that they cannot say proud or happy or anything like that.  I think they are comfortable in their German skins but unable to express it. I take joy in expressing my feelings for my country. Germany is good and so is America.

Everything about our mission has had purpose and divine planning. God is truly in charge and runs things well. I am needed as is Jeri. We needed this experience. Our experiences heretofore have had application time and again in our current  activities and interactions. God knows what He is doing even if I don't .

I am best at being who I am. I really think that is all that is expected of me so my job has become pretty easy and enjoyable. It’s like having the job you always wanted and having the time and resources to do it well. I was living my dream in Minnesota and now I'm just continuing the dream in a little less selfish way. My life is good.

Thanks for reading .