Selling the Camper


 This isn’t a poem but a few weeks ago we had decided to sell our little T@b camper. We just didn’t get out enough in it we reasoned even though we enjoy it immensely when we do! We called it our “rolling cabin in the woods” since we loved taking it to out-of-the-way places of peace and quiet surrounded by trees. 

So we decided to take it out one last time to Siloam Springs State Park our favorite spot and about 45 minutes from our home. The minute we pulled into the camping area with its tall majestic pines my heart was just full of we have to keep this!! We settled down into the area for the next 27 hours which was all we could do since we needed to return to responsibilities as usual.

We rode our e-bikes. We walked the wooded trails. We watched for the eclipse.  We listened to the sounds of the birds. We listened to the quiet. We made a roaring fire and cooked a lovely tin foil dinner over it. We sat. We talked. We smelled the pines. Then we snuggled into our cozy camper for the night and woke up to towering pines and more quiet.

All plans to sell the camper vaporized into the beautiful sky above. We came home refreshed and more in love than ever. So we only had 27 hours! We had 27 hours of bliss and peace and quiet and each other! I’d say that’s pretty great! When we informed our kids of our decision to keep the camper out darling daughter-in-law Erin texted this to me. Erin was going to take photos of the inside of the camper a couple of days later to get ready to sell

I texted and told her I was canceling it.

Here’s her adorable hilarious beautifully worded reply:

“Cancel the shoot. Keep the camper. It’s only money. And that’s 2-3 weeks of pure bliss and memories. That’s a lot!

It also represents possibility. So you don’t even know the plans you’re missing and canceling in getting rid of it.

You guys are available to a lot of people, that’s the life you’ve created and it’s so beautiful. But I love that you have this camper, that’s perfectly sized for the two of you. It’s this little nugget you can pack up, drive into the middle of the woods, and be together in.

I LOVE THE CAMPER.

You have to keep the camper because I want to do this one day with John when we are older (to have a camper to run away and adventure in) so you and Gentz are what is called a “log” in manifestation where, if you can’t get the thing you’re manifesting yet- you look for someone who has it and jump on their “log” going upstream to your camper.”

I love that all of our kids wanted us to keep it. They joyed in the fact that we got out into the woods and away from everything and maybe like Erin they knew someday they would have that kind of freedom to get away without any worries for 27 hours or so every once in a while! 

 He is there 


She sits with bowed head

On her couch.

Consumed with worry,

Fear, anxiety

For her unborn daughter,

For her ill

Three-year-old daughter.

No relief

No sleep

No peace.

And then he comes

Standing silently

Behind her

Placing his wounded hands

On her shoulder.

Feeling her pain

Transmitting light.

Oh, Lord, can she see you?

Can she feel your presence?

The Prince  of Peace. 

He who wipes away all tears.

Wipe them from my daughters face,

Calm her troubled heart.

Whisper, peace, Lord.

Whisper love.

 Guilt poem

Guilt for sin only my husband will

Say

I laugh and reply you don’t understand my way.

I feel guilt when I leave grandkids or a place too soon

And guilt when I take too long looking at the moon!


I feel guilt for spending too much time at one child’s place

Thinking well I should be with that one like it’s some kind of race.

And to take a day and do just what I would like  to do?

With no kind of chatter or shoulds blocking my happy view?


Oh my I can’t imagine but I think that sounds divine!

So One day a week I’ll accept no guilt and will feel just fine! 

When I’m shopping at goodwill or wandering in a store

Instead of chiding myself I will smile and look a little more.

If i take too long reading or stay a while more on the couch

I’ll smile and accept myself  for I am happy instead of a grouch! 


For in this world the days we are here seem to flee

And I don’t want to waste any more days pitching guilt at me!! 

So at least one day a week and who knows maybe more??

I’ll enjoy each place my feet are, for feeling guilt is such a chore!! 




 That date 

In the checkout lane at Dot Foods 

The rip-off Calendar said Feb. 15.

My eyes lingered and my thoughts went to Jakob. 

His death date

So many years ago. 

Little did the grocery store clerk know

I was processing feelings

Experiencing some intense emotion 

Just by seeing that date.

It was just an ordinary day for her.

Not for me.

I picked up my groceries and the pieces

Of my broken heart 

and left. 

 Jakob’s stone 


It was all we could afford

A small piece of granite

His dear name engraved

On top 

Birth date

Death date

Mixed with our tears 

And broken hearts.


Love poured into that

Place as our children visited

Letting off white balloons 

On his birthday crying up

At the sky with childish delight.

Hello Jakob!

Happy birthday!

That helped. 

Our hearts healed 

But never completely. 


We brought it home

I grew Tired of sharing with 

A bench

And too huge stone 

Next door.

My peaceful sacred  spot 

Gone. 


So it’s here 

With us

Where it belongs.

Where it all started 

43 years ago. 


Where we can say hello

We love you

We miss you 

And grow flowers 

And keep it clean. 

No more cemetery 

Lawn mowers knocking

The edges 

Wearing it down

This stone of his. 


I love seeing his name

Whenever I want.

Etched in stone 

So strong

So Norwegian

So dear to us.

Bought when we 

Were young and grieving, 

But now it is 

Right here

Just for us 

As it should be. 


And children can play

Nearby 

Like ours used to 

But now 

Nieces and nephews

Hearing stories of this 

Uncle gone so young. 

Maybe we can even 

Send off white balloons.











 This is what can  happen when you travel to or from the Midwest to the west in winter!


Traveling west in March 


So Utah is where we are stuck because Wyoming has snow. 

We tried to leave Thursday, but made no sense then to go. 

For roads were slick, and weather advisories were out, 

We waited till Friday and had fun with mary and Maggie out and about. 


Friday we awoke at 4 AM and could no longer sleep. 

Gentz looked at the map and saw that our routes we couldn’t keep. 

The roads were closed in Wyoming and would let no one through. 

We wondered if we should drive south, stay here, what shall we do? 


Finally, we thought why risk it? Let’s just stay here one more day. 

Johnny and Maggie are welcoming and with Mary we can play.

Gentz went off to the gym to work out and I settled down to write . 

There are worse things than being stuck in Utah – not such a bad plight! 

 Nebraska poem

(written as we drove on I80 from Utah home to Ilinois)


As we drive through this land of my

Ancestors at breakneck speeds in 

Our comfortable car, our only challenge

Is the Eastward rising sun blinding our

Eyes


I look at the wide expansive blue sky and feel

The footprint of them in my heart..

The Markers…

Walsteads…

Wilsons.

So many who survived the harsh landscape,

The dust storms, 

The grasshoppers

And made a life for themselves, providing

A future for the generations to come.


My grandfather John Marker died out in his 

Beloved fields where he plowed out a living for his

Wife and child and four granddaughters 

He was never to know.

How my heart fills with gratitude as I travel this land

This Nebraska

Home of my fathers

My mothers

My people.