Poem from Jakob to me, written by Gentzy, our oldest son, who was almost 4 years old when his little brother died

 Hi Mom//

You look good from up here, Mom

In this celestial sphere

Where through 

My glass-bottom boat

I’ve watched your hair grey

I liked it red,

I like it grey, too

Let your roots go, like me

You’re getting older

And wiser

And yet, 

You’re the same as I remember

My

I’m surrounded by light

You’re right

I won’t tell you about God

The Truth will make you smile

And I don’t want to ruin it

Your belief in Him is sincere

And pure

And tethers me to you

Gentzy though? 

He’s in for a surprise

But he likes surprises,

So he will smile too.

My eyes are blue now,

I think you already knew

Those long-ago blessings

pronounced on my tiny head

Of healing and patience 

They remain

Beyond my deathbed

Your hopes and dreams

Live on in me

In unimaginable ways

I thank you

And every good man

Who laid his hands on my head

Every good woman who held you

While you cried

Every meal

Every hug

I carry them with me, still 

Your plans and dreams for me

Seem like dreams now

Even as they unspool

And high school?

I’m laughing about that one

I’m a Franz after all

There’s a chance 

It would not have been my bag

In these ethers, I call home

An eternal school

A space without space

Or time, 

Is familiar

Like family 

It feels like a constant snuggle pile

With Johnny, 

Maggie

Kari

Gentzy

From dusk to dawn

A never-ending pile of gifts

Where each box holds 

A verse of our family’s song

I sing along

You laugh

We begin again

And again.

The end was a beginning

The way it’s always been.

I miss you Mom

I love you

- Jakob

Written by Gentzy

Feb 15 2025

 A blessing for Jakob, our Celestial Son

(July 10, 1981- Feb. 15, 1983)

Feb. 2025

What blessing do you need, Jakob, our second-born son?

You are in the Celestial Sphere, dwelling with the Holy One

Surrounded by truth and light and angels singing to God

Instead of this difficult earth where your little feet barely trod. 

Long ago, blessings were pronounced upon your tiny head

Of healing and patience, that you would arise healed from your bed.

But day after painful day, that time never seemed to arrive

Until at 20 months, you left, and our hopes and dreams for you died. 

I had been prepared months before when the spirit spoke to me truth

That I needed to trust you to God, your Father, who knew of His plan for you.

Mine was to keep you here  with us to grow and to run and to play

But I trusted and accepted that Heavenly Father had a better way.

I am sorry that you never knew your siblings, Kari and Maggie, and John

Snuggling and laughing with them in bed on Christmas Eve from dusk to dawn.

You never opened a gift or had a party that was given just for you,

Graduated from high school, fell in love, and had a child or two. 

Although I believe you’ve been nearby and known them all along

Just near enough to hear them laugh and joy in our family’s song.

Once in a while possibly you watched as they went down the Duncan Park slide

And silently whispered in their childish ears that you would be near their side. 

So, here on earth, we dream and move and cry, and we play

And think of you, as life moves on, knowing that in some future day

We will all be together, snuggled in that light-filled eternal place

Where, once again, we will be a family and behold your handsome face. 

My blessing then for you, Jakob, the one who left us all too soon

Is that we will live so that our lives will  be brighter than the moon

Instead, shining bright as the sun, holding fast to the things that are true-

Serving, loving others, and doing good so that we may eternally dwell with you.  

I miss you, Jakob

I love you

- Mom 

 Poem for Gentz, my beloved

Feb. 2025

You were here before any of them, standing so valiantly by my side

Your strength calmed my fears, and I knew I wanted to be your bride.

Walking out of the temple that day, so young, and life stretching ahead

We joined hands, looked in each other’s eyes, and were grateful to be wed.

Life was not without  its bumps and bruises in those early married years

We studied, worked, and moved with experiences that resulted in tears.

Jakob was hard, and yet you were supportive  and never left us alone

Even though his suffering was hard and you would often moan. 

Your compassionate heart drew many people to seek your advice

And you listened, helped, and moved people often more than twice!

God has given you a servant’s heart, and you have always been there

Not only for your family but for those who had burdens so hard to bear.

There have been times when I have resented the times you were gone

But I have learned that this is your calling, and I need to just go along.

I have always been first, and you have served me and cared for me so well.

God has blessed us with many good times, and more will surely unveil.

As long as your hand is in mine, as it was in the temple so long ago

We will withstand whatever difficulties, and our love will simply grow. 

You have my heart, dear Gentz. My love for you will truly last forever

And what joy will fill our hearts as hand in hand we walk into heaven together. 

 October 2024, stopping in Danville, IL, on our way to the church's historical sites. We lived here for one year with our boys, Gentzy and Jakob, from 1981 to 1982 when Gentz taught school here. Jakob was discovered to have a brain tumor at 7 months, which eventually took his life at 20 months. It was a rough year, but God never deserted us, and people were so kind to us. 

Danville Poem

We pulled off at a park 

So I could eat my lunch 

Under the trees. 

My heart and mind 

Mainly my heart 

Went back 43 years 

when we lived here 

For a brief moment in time. 

We had two little blonde-haired boys. 

One boy is all grown up now 

45 years old 

With babies of his own.

One boy lived a year longer

And left this earth.

We added three more…

Two girls and a boy

Who filled our hearts.

As I sit here near these trees

I’m now An old mother.

Yet My heart still yearns for those

Fleeting days spent here

Before we knew how

Quickly our lives as parents,

As people

Would change.

The trees were here then 

Still  here now 

Reaching their changing leaves

And branches toward heaven

Like this mother‘s heart.

 Oct. 21, 2024, on a trip to Kirtland, Ohio, and Palmyra, New York, church historical sites. Kirtland is where Joseph Smith and the Latter-Day Saints lived for a time. They built the first temple here out of their poverty in response to a revelation from the Lord. Many revelations that are in our Doctrine and Covenants were received here. 

Kirtland trees

They stand so tall and majestic their leaves clothed in a beautiful gold.

Were they here with  Joseph and his family who had so many revelations to unfold? 

Their lives were changing quickly as the Lord directed them in the way that they needed to go 

But the trees stayed on as witnesses of all that happened so long ago. 

The three degrees of heaven were revealed here at the John Johnson Farm 

As Christ himself came down to Joseph and showed his mighty arm. 

That he would protect his Saints as they sacrificed and grew for him 

Indeed, Joseph was able to bring forth his work and his testimony never grew dim.

So what do I learn from my trip to this town -this city of Revelation? 

For I live in a time when one would say we’re not a very Godly nation. 

I ponder upon the sacrifices, made by Joseph and Emma and so many more

I Revere them and thank them for all they suffered for this Gospel centuries before . 

Might I be willing to give my life for God and this glorious kingdom on earth

For when I found this truth, I knew that I had experienced a spiritual rebirth.

Thank you, Joseph for remaining strong and protecting that which was given you

For without the Book of Mormon and these revelations, I’m not so sure what we would do.

They bring us such light and glory and truth to my life I cannot imagine being without

For Christ has indeed spoken to man and that is what Kirtland is all about.