“I want to cry out like an angel: THERE IS AN ANSWER!”


 









 For the first 38 years of my life, I ate the wrong foods and too much of them….foods laden with sugar and flour. As a child, I started showing signs of this at about the age of eight and went on my first diet at age 11. Being born in 1951 there were not as many heavy children as there are now and I always felt different. I also picked up a few bad habits with other things in high school but gave those up when I joined the church at the age of 24 and was made aware of the Word of Wisdom. I just never paid much attention to the food part. When I received my Patriarchal Blessing a few months later and it read, “You have a Good Body. Keep it that way and you can through the reading of good books and the power of prayer,” I figured it was referring to diet books and was always looking for those “good books” that were going to help me maintain this “good body” that eventually got up to 225 pounds on a 5’4” frame!

Fast forward through years of dieting, binging, getting to my normal weight for five minutes, having five children and then in my late thirties I discovered a twelve-step program for “compulsive overeaters.” It was then that the rest of my journey began. I felt God had led me to a place where I could learn more of Him and turn to Him instead of to the food which was truly my “drug of choice.” This journey evolved as I recognized what I truly had was a food addiction and needed to give up sugar and flour and have a food plan, which I started doing in my late forties with another twelve-step program.

I am now 71 years old and have been free of the 100 extra pounds I carried on my body. I have been at a weight of 127 for 10 years now, and I’ve been sugar and flour free for 18 years. So, I felt pretty healthy. I had energy, although usually, I required an afternoon nap.  I didn’t have any obvious health problems thankfully, but I was eating 8 ounces of yogurt every morning for breakfast and 4 ounces of protein or 2 ounces of cheese at each meal. This was also augmented at each meal with 6 ounces of cooked and 6 ounces of raw vegetables and a couple of pieces of fruit; I never ate in between meals. I strictly adhered to this plan and experienced a great amount of spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery.

My husband and I had come across the book The China Study about ten years ago, and he began to make a few changes like giving up red meat. I considered it, but I didn’t feel ready even after reading the book and watching the documentary Forks over Knives. I mean, I took supplements, I ate healthily, I felt good, I was just fine, and loved my meat and my yogurt. I also complained about not having enough energy. When we went to serve our 18-month mission in 2016 in Germany my husband started eating red meat again, and I continued on my food plan with my yogurt and meat, never eating any beans at all. We had a friend in our ward who would not eat meat in the summer, only in winter because of the Word of Wisdom, part of only consuming meat in times of cold or famine. But I just never got on board with that.

Once home, I would make half-hearted attempts at meatless meals and even went three weeks with no meat once but always gave in with a juicy hamburger! The meats I chose for my protein were usually the ones with a lot of fat. I was impressed that my sister who had moved to Mexico started eating plant-based back in October of 2020, and she loved it! Finally, in January of 2022, my husband decided to give up red meat once again.  He and I both contracted Covid towards the end of the month (for the third time I might add), and our son who is vegan and lives in town brought us over a meal with sweet potatoes, chickpeas, and broccoli. I looked at those chickpeas and I thought…why am I not eating those on my salad instead of meat or cheese?? And the next day that is what I did, and I feel the Lord totally took away my desire for meat. It was not even anything I planned; it just became implanted in my heart and mind that this is what I needed to do for my health. I didn’t transition to just a few meatless meals or anything like that, just didn’t look back and gave it all up. However, I continued to eat my yogurt in the mornings and cheese a couple of times a week in my salads.

Then as I talked to others in my food program who were also plant-based I became aware of another documentary Eating You Alive and recognized the actual harm in dairy and decided to give that yogurt up in the morning and substitute nuts and seeds or tofu or soy milk. I did not care for the alternative yogurts as I felt they had too many processed items in them and not much protein.

The rather beautiful thing that has happened in this latter part of my journey is that I feel even more clear than before. I feel that I can hear the Spirit speak to me better and that I am doing just what the Lord would have me do. As I read the Word of Wisdom again I was struck with verse 19: “And thou shalt find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge even hidden treasures.” I was experiencing that!! I was understanding the scriptures better, and I was digesting them, feeling like truly feasting on them! I even noticed a new sensitivity to animals and a real pain in my heart at what they suffer because of the huge meat eaters in our society and the demand for more, and I felt so very grateful that I was not a part of that anymore. As I thought about the fact that even animals are to live up to the measure of their creation with joy, I knew that was certainly not true in this day and age when “evil and conspiring men” abuse them so badly simply so they can meet the demand and make more money. I’m sure it causes our Father in Heaven great pain at His beloved creatures being treated so.

I feel lighter and have even lost a few more pounds which feels quite good. As I see others my age or even younger suffering from chronic illness and disease, I just want to cry out like an angel: THERE IS AN ANSWER!! CHANGE THE WAY YOU ARE EATING! I will be forever grateful that I was able to give up animal products and move forward eating in the way that I know the Lord would have me and so many of His children eat. I have even experienced more neutrality around my food than before. It is simply medicine for my body. My food is delicious, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have to get excited about it. I would rather be excited about life and live it fully! Eating according to the way the Lord has set out in the Word of Wisdom is the answer. Is that any surprise?


                                             Grief

(Feb. 15th 2021)



Time can stand still now…it couldn’t before.

From the minute they called  with news of his death

To when I left him, hurried into a car at the cemetery,

Looking longingly back at his tiny coffin near the grave. 


Let me just sit and feel and be with myself and my hurt.

Let me process my love and my tears and my grief.

But it was too new then…I prayed for time to pass

And now it has..38 years of it has passed.


And I sit and look out at the snow, the whiteness

And I remember, and I grieve, and I praise.

And my heart, this same heart feels the pain,

But it is not so intense and so I can sit.


I can sit with Jakob and the memory of him,

The look of him and the smell of him, 

The pain and the joy and the holding of him

And the letting go and I can be filled.

This is about my dad's cousin, Jerrie Flesland Kyle who contracted polio at the age of ten and for the rest of her life walked with braces and often a wheelchair. She was bigger than life with a "can do" personality and a warm smile and kind word for all that she met. We would see her occasionally when our paths crossed at the Farm in Aitkin, Minnesota where we visited her parents, Blanche and Olaf Flesland...the farm my parents bought and later retired to. 




 

                       1929-1985


You crossed the window of my mind 

     yesterday and as soon 

   as I got home I took down  your

     forgotten  poetry

        book on my shelf.


Opening its pages I remembered

    you….your courage with polio

    your indomitable spirit

      and that huge smile.


I was transported back as a 

     child visiting Minnesota

 who looked at you as 

        a thing of wonder.


How could you be so happy, 

      While unable to walk unaided?

  I felt nothing but strength

   and warmth coming from you.


I, so able to run and skip and 

   jump was always grumbling

      about this problem or that.


But, you with legs that wouldn’t

    work carried yourself with 

           dignity and grace.


Thank you for the lessons…

   for the poetry on my shelf,

    for the painting on my wall

  and mostly for teaching me

  that no matter what might 

   hinder us, 


we can walk…

    and we can smile 

              and

      we can achieve our dreams. 




 


                                           A week in January
Jan. 23, 2021



The Franz kids have been staying here all week.
It’s been such a fun time as into their lives we got a peek.

Brennan, a Senior, busy with school all the day long,
Hayzel has lessons as well, but often breaks into song.

Ava, on the couch wakes up early to view her class,
Zoë in the basement, gets up late and works for her driver’s ed pass.

Gentzy is closeted in my office with clients on the phone.
They all rise from their areas once lunch is done.

They laugh and point at The Survivor and love each episode.
Once in a while they get excited and screams do explode. 

It’s crazy, it’s lovely and we wouldn’t change a thing.
These children so pleasant with love to our hearts do bring. 









                  My Husband 

 

I hear you moving in the kitchen lovingly making my meal

while I lay on the couch reading poems and you enjoy the rhythm of The Band on Alexa. 

I feel such love and adoration for those energetic meal making noises out there. 

You never question why; you just joyfully cut up onions,

Measure beans,

Slice up salad,

And I lay here dreaming of rainbows and books and artist dates 

And fall in love with you all over again. 



 

 Jan. 4, 2021

Woke up thinking about flowers for my birthday.....shall I ask Gentz or is he going to surprise me? Then I thought, well, I need a new runner for the table to set the flowers on  which then moved to I need a new table! When I sat down to write, this poem tumbled out. 

                      “Wantitis”


Will there be an end to wanting someday?

Or will I always wake up feeling this way?

Maybe the wants will change from tables to pens.

Or from a new sweater to a package of Depends!


Whatever the case wantitis seems to plague my mind.

Worrying that without these items I will be left behind.

Trying to keep up with the pictures, but unable to do so.

There is always something better that makes me feel low.


So, I’ll be content and look up instead of around.

Realizing that peace in things is never to be found.

I’ll just hope those flowers come in a pretty new vase

And happily set them in the usual old place. 





 

Jan. 5, 2021

 

     My 70th Birthday


 

My 70th birthday is here and I really must say!

I never gave much thought to seeing this day!!

I’ve always felt so young and have gone gadding about.

I’m healthy, I feel good; why I don’t even have any gout!


I remember my mother turning 70 so long ago.

We drove to Minnesota and surprised her in spite of the snow.

We hid our big van behind the garage at Becki’s log place.

When we all popped out it was so fun to see her face!


Years later, here I am at the very same age

Was I like she was when she reached this stage?

What will I do with this last part of my life?

I’m still a mother, gramma and of course Gentz’s wife.


I’m grateful the years have all piled up together

And he and I are still a team no matter the weather.

I’ll take whatever time I have left and learn what I can.

For there is much I don’t know about the ways of man. 


Mother was happy and healthy until almost ninety four.

I want to live that long before I walk through heaven’s door.

I’m thankful for the many blessings I have been given.

And need to remember them each day I am living. 


My children are precious, my grandchildren not a few.

I adore  each one who brings experiences so new.

I hope not to get tired and stop growing my mind.

For there are so many truths and treasures yet to find.


Yes, I’ve turned seventy and though a bit wrinkled and gray,

I’m thrilled to still be here and thank the Lord for each day.

Happy Birthday to me I will with others most gladly sing..

Smiling and grateful for all of life’s wonderful  things!