Grief
(Feb. 15th 2021)
Time can stand still now…it couldn’t before.
From the minute they called with news of his death
To when I left him, hurried into a car at the cemetery,
Looking longingly back at his tiny coffin near the grave.
Let me just sit and feel and be with myself and my hurt.
Let me process my love and my tears and my grief.
But it was too new then…I prayed for time to pass
And now it has..38 years of it has passed.
And I sit and look out at the snow, the whiteness
And I remember, and I grieve, and I praise.
And my heart, this same heart feels the pain,
But it is not so intense and so I can sit.
I can sit with Jakob and the memory of him,
The look of him and the smell of him,
The pain and the joy and the holding of him
And the letting go and I can be filled.