Sunday revelation

“You’re all different” my Father gently whispered to me. 

“Some are energetic with many places to go, but you are not a type three.

I need my children to serve one another and yes, that often means moving 

But service is equally needed at home and among those who need Loving. 

So cherish the gifts I have given you, my daughter, whom I trust. 

Don’t feel that when I was giving out loaves, you got only the crust. 

For without your sensitive, loving words to those in emotional need 

They may get lost among the crowd and to my church give no heed.

When others get involved and you feel guilty like you won’t ever measure up. 

Remember, who you are and that I love you and maybe you just need a nap! 

Rest and relaxation are important as you traverse this complicated life. 

Peace is what I want you to have and comparison only results in strife. 

I sent those to you who no one else can reach in quite the same way. 

Bring me into those conversations and I will be with you throughout your day.”

Thank you, dear Lord, for these truths that spoke directly to my soul.

All that thou art and asks of me, I know will make me whole. 

As I take thy name upon me and try to always remember thee

I pray to be directed to those who from their pain need to be free. 

 Second great grandmother

Her slip is tucked away in 

My temple bag. 

Auguste Abramowska. 

I say her big name. 

Aloud.

No one on earth has spoken her name 

In years. 

She is not forgotten 

Nor are her six babies 

Who never made it to adulthood. 

All waiting. 

She is eagerly waiting. 

Today in Nauvoo, 

The holy house of the Lord 

It begins. 

I walk through 

Those doors 

With her. 

We will go down into 

The healing waters 

Of baptism. 

Two Mothers. 

Separated by years 

But linked by love 

And tears 

And longing for our children 

To be ours

Forever. 

That forever begins 

Today. 

 Guilt poem

Guilt for sin only my husband will say.

I laugh and reply you don’t understand my way!

I feel guilt when I leave grandkids or a place too soon

And guilt when I take too long looking at the moon!

I feel guilty for spending too much time at one child’s place

Thinking well I should be with that one like it’s some kind of race.

And to take a day and do just what I would like to do?

With no kind of chatter or shoulds blocking my happy view?

Oh my, I can’t imagine but I think that sounds divine!

So one day a week I’ll accept no guilt and I'll feel just fine! 

When I’m shopping at Goodwill or wandering in a store

Instead of chiding myself I will smile and look a little more.

If I take too long reading or stay a while more on the couch

I’ll smile and accept myself for I am happy instead of a grouch! 

For in this world, the days we are here seem to quickly flee

And I don’t want to waste any more days pitching guilt at me!! 

So at least one day a week and who knows maybe more??

I’ll enjoy each place my feet are, for feeling guilt is such a chore!! 

 Ode to a car

Gentzy bought that cute Toyota Corolla back in 2001. 

20 years later Gentz pulled it behind a truck when they moved to Oregon. 

Brennan has driven it across the country many times and back.

It’s provided transportation and fun and no energy does it lack. 

Now  Ava who turned fifteen has got her driver's permit

And guess what she’ll be driving? That Corolla just won’t quit!

 Siloam springs 

Camping at Siloam Springs brings us so much peace. 

We leave all distractions behind and enjoy the silent breeze. 

The trees are majestic, and the wind gently rustles the pines. 

No one is around so we are all alone, which is fine.

Gentz builds a campfire of his favorite red elm so good. 

And goes foraging for more on our walks with so much wood. 

Our camper is cozy, waiting with its welcoming open arms. 

We embrace this place of quiet with all of nature’s charms. 

Selling the Camper

 This isn’t a poem but a few weeks ago we had decided to sell our little T@b camper. We just didn’t get out enough in it we reasoned even though we enjoy it immensely when we do! We called it our “rolling cabin in the woods” since we loved taking it to out-of-the-way places of peace and quiet surrounded by trees. 

So we decided to take it out one last time to Siloam Springs State Park our favorite spot and about 45 minutes from our home. The minute we pulled into the camping area with its tall majestic pines my heart was just full of we have to keep this!! We settled down into the area for the next 27 hours which was all we could do since we needed to return to responsibilities as usual.

We rode our e-bikes. We walked the wooded trails. We watched for the eclipse.  We listened to the sounds of the birds. We listened to the quiet. We made a roaring fire and cooked a lovely tin foil dinner over it. We sat. We talked. We smelled the pines. Then we snuggled into our cozy camper for the night and woke up to towering pines and more quiet.

All plans to sell the camper vaporized into the beautiful sky above. We came home refreshed and more in love than ever. So we only had 27 hours! We had 27 hours of bliss and peace and quiet and each other! I’d say that’s pretty great! When we informed our kids of our decision to keep the camper out darling daughter-in-law Erin texted this to me. Erin was going to take photos of the inside of the camper a couple of days later to get ready to sell

I texted and told her I was canceling it.

Here’s her adorable hilarious beautifully worded reply:

“Cancel the shoot. Keep the camper. It’s only money. And that’s 2-3 weeks of pure bliss and memories. That’s a lot!

It also represents possibility. So you don’t even know the plans you’re missing and canceling in getting rid of it.

You guys are available to a lot of people, that’s the life you’ve created and it’s so beautiful. But I love that you have this camper, that’s perfectly sized for the two of you. It’s this little nugget you can pack up, drive into the middle of the woods, and be together in.

I LOVE THE CAMPER.

You have to keep the camper because I want to do this one day with John when we are older (to have a camper to run away and adventure in) so you and Gentz are what is called a “log” in manifestation where, if you can’t get the thing you’re manifesting yet- you look for someone who has it and jump on their “log” going upstream to your camper.”

I love that all of our kids wanted us to keep it. They joyed in the fact that we got out into the woods and away from everything and maybe like Erin they knew someday they would have that kind of freedom to get away without any worries for 27 hours or so every once in a while! 

 He is there 

She sits with bowed head

On her couch.

Consumed with worry,

Fear, anxiety

For her unborn daughter,

For her ill

Three-year-old daughter.

No relief

No sleep

No peace.

And then he comes

Standing silently

Behind her

Placing his wounded hands

On her shoulder.

Feeling her pain

Transmitting light.

Oh, Lord, can she see you?

Can she feel your presence?

The Prince  of Peace. 

He who wipes away all tears.

Wipe them from my daughters face,

Calm her troubled heart.

Whisper, peace, Lord.

Whisper love.